What is coaching?
Coaching is a developmental ongoing interaction between two people, the Coach and the client which assists the Client to develop their capabilities, achieve their goals and objectives and to produce results.
Why do I need a Divorce Recovery Coach?
Going through a major life-changing event such as divorce or separation, can be an extremely stressful and confusing time. The roller coaster of emotions, changes to your home, friendships, children, and work can take a massive toll on your self-confidence, self-esteem and resilience. A Divorce Recovery Coach can help you navigate through the tidal wave of emotions, help you build resilience, and empower you to create new life goals and support you to live your best possible life after divorce. A coach can also help you to build a better relationship and have more effective communication with your ex so you can successfully co-parent. Through understanding and dealing with your emotions, you will be better equipped to develop a parenting plan and strategies to address your children’s needs.
How is a Divorce Recovery Coach different from a Divorce Coach or consultant?
A Divorce Recovery Coach focuses on rebuilding your personal life after separation or divorce whereas a Divorce Coach usually has some legal experience and will assist with the process of getting a divorce, mediation and completing legal and financial paperwork. They will also work alongside your solicitor to get the best possible outcome for you.
What is your background?
I have worked with children and families and supported them through difficult and often traumatic times for 13 years. Whilst going through my own divorce journey, I recognised that I struggled through a number of stages of my recovery and realised I would have hugely benefited from a coach to guide me through. Determined to support other mothers who are going through separation or divorce, I achieved qualifications in Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) as a Practitioner and Coach and set up The Independent Mamas.
Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is thought to be one of the most effective and accessible self-help methods to come from modern psychology. Many life coaches use NLP techniques to help ‘reprogramme’ clients’ patterns of thinking and behaving. NLP works on the basis of assessing a client’s perception of the world and adapting our behaviour and reactions to enable us to live a happy, desired life.
Do you provide legal or financial advice?
No, I have no legal or financial qualifications and do not provide advice on the legal divorce process.
Are you a counsellor?
No, I am not a counsellor. Counselling or therapy look at your past to determine why you are experiencing certain emotions and are trained to diagnose and treat mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. Divorce recovery coaching focuses on building up your resilience, forward thinking, moving toward a desired future and helping you to live your best life. Counselling and coaching can be complimentary processes.
Can you help me if I am separated but still live with my ex-partner?
Yes, there are many ways you can benefit from coaching to help you move forward whilst still living in the same property as your ex-partner. Coaching could also help to improve the way you negotiate living with them.
Can you help me if I am separated but never married?
Yes, there is no requirement to have been married. The Independent Mamas is here to help any mother who has gone through separation from a partner.
Can you help me if I am still going through the divorce process?
Yes, coaching can help immensely with building resilience and managing your emotions during a very difficult stage in your life. It can also help you look towards your future and help the process to go more smoothly.
How can I afford a coach when divorce is already so expensive?
Coaching can help you save money, time and energy during the divorce process. Divorce is a highly emotional process which can lead to be very reactive and sometimes overly emotional when making decisions legal and financial decisions. Coaching can help you to gain more clarity and focus, reducing emotional decision making thereby, making your time with your solicitor more efficient and ultimately reducing the amount of fees you are paying. Coaching fees are considerably less than legal fees and can also help you with other areas of your life.
After divorce is finalised, it is common for people to want to shake up their life and make big changes. However, this can lead to embarking on numerous different costly endeavours thinking it will make them feel better and not actually result in improving their life in the way they wanted. Coaching can help prepare you for the future, discover what changes are best for you and how to make those changes effectively. Coaching is not a quick fix, it is designed to empower you make reclaim your life and follow your dreams.
I am struggling with co-parenting with my ex-partner, how can you help?
Yes, co-parenting can be extremely tricky especially when you are coping with an emotionally charged event such as divorce. It is easy to lose sight of the most important outcome, the happiness and the well being of your children. I help you to build resources and strategies to successfully co-parent and create a co-parenting plan to suit your family’s needs.
I feel so overwhelmed all the time and nothing seems to be getting better, can you help?
Yes, we will discuss what life currently looks like for you and unpick what is causing you to feel overwhelmed. We will identify strategies to help you organise your life and build resilience to improve your ability to cope moving forwards.
I don’t know who I am anymore, I feel lost and lonely, how will this programme help me?
The Independent Mamas Empowerment programme takes you on a journey of re-discovery and encourages a positive mindset to find out who you want to be and take you towards a happier and more desirable future for you and your children. The programme will identify which areas of your life that you would like to change and guide you through step by step to make those changes unleashing your potential. The programme can help you to get all areas of your life back on track from family, relationships, career and health and wellbeing.
Can you work with people who live outside the UK?
Yes, I can work with clients via Skype, email and telephone.